Plates are spinning around here, how about at your house? At least that's how it feels...managing relationships, work, and finishing the basement resembles a plate-spinning routine gone horribly amuck with plates crashing to the ground all around me. Work has been a bit more than I desire at the moment. A new student identification system is being implemented, and since I deal with students, I’ve been involved! I have a few relationships that have been stretching and challenging. We are still working on the basement, BUT the boys’ room is complete!
One thing that has taken me back is an individual being critical of us adopting special needs children. Newsflash: most all adopted children should be considered "special needs". Any child who hasn't had a mother or father for a period of time suffers negative effects from the lack of a parent. Do most adoptive parents know every issue their child will have when they adopt them? Of course not. Do biological parents know every issue their birth child will have in life? Duh...of course not. So why do we put different standards on adoptive parents? When we adopt children with special needs, we do so with a certain amount of naivety about what life will be like with that child. Just like when you have biological children, you do so with a certain amount of naivety about what life will be like with your biological children.
When we chose to adopt, we did do our research. It's irresponsible not to research the issues that we may know of that our children may or may not have. But I can guarantee one thing...medical records for adopted children will never have ALL of the issues outlined that we and our adopted children will face. There will be medical, emotional, social, behavioral and other issues that will come up.
Before being critical of us for adopting special needs it would be better to come alongside us and really empathize with us. It is much more beneficial than telling us we shouldn’t be doing this. It also poses the question: "Would the child be better off in their previous conditions?" The answer is almost always no.
Can't we start praying for one another, offering HELPFUL information, and encouraging each other rather than criticizing?
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